Thursday, September 24, 2009

Obama Jugend

Obama Watch has obtained explosive video of a secret meeting of the Obama Youth....

OOOPS!  But you can see how we became confused.  Here it is, as filmed in June at Bernice Young Elementary School in Burlington, New Jersey....

Notice the lyric, "red and yellow black and white, all are equal in his sight"?  Does that evoke the praise of anyone else you are acquainted with?  And conservatives are criticized for saying that the libtards see Barack Hussein Hoover Pinnochio Muhammad bin Obama as a New Messiah?

The school district issued an official statement today on the video, noting that yes, it was part of an official school celebration, and no, the recording of it was not authorized.

Dear Burlington Township Families:

Today we became aware of a video that was placed on the internet which has been reported in the media. The video is of a class of students singing a song about President Obama. The activity took place during Black History Month in 2009, which is recognized each February to honor the contributions of African Americans to our country. Our curriculum studies, honors and recognizes those who serve our country. The recording and distribution of the class activity were unauthorized.

If you have any further questions regarding this matter, please do not hesitate to contact me or Dr. King, Principal of B. Bernice Young School, directly.

Dr. Christopher M. Manno,
Superintendent of Schools

A couple of cogent observations and questions...

1) Exactly why is it that Democrats become upset when the polices of Obama, and the zombie-like response to him (which at BEST can be described as a personality cult), are characterized by those who have read a book at some point in their lives as fascist?

2) The mindless Messianism which is the Obamazombie cult has officially graduated from semi-retarded to creepy.

3) Liberals like to pretend that theirs is an intellectual position and that conservatives are anachronistic throwbacks to a pre-intellectual age.  Yet, where exactly is the mindless will-worship located - on the left or on the right?  Anybody ever seen anything like this associated with George W. Bush?  George the Elder?  Reagan?  Coolidge?

4) There has not been an honest man heading the Democrat party (and barely one in the party at all, with kudos to Joe Lieberman) since Michael Dukakis, and there has not been a thinking man in the Democrat Party since the passing of Daniel Patrick Moynihan.  It is apparent from this clip that Progressivism/Statism is no longer an intellectual phenomenon, but is rather a religious phenomenon.

5) At least the Hitler Youth didn't recruit until a kid turned 14....

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Cartoon Predicts the Obama Administration

The good folks at Harding College (now Harding University), in an attempt to educate the public half a century ago, predicted the coming of the Obama administration....

Thursday, September 17, 2009

National Review: Acorn Scandal is NO JOKE

The editors of National Review have responded to the Fascist Left's dismissal of the Acorn scandal in typical, studied, understated style....

James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles, two guerilla documentarians, have accomplished what neither the Republican party’s sense of outrage nor the Democratic party’s sense of decency could: They have inspired the federal government to begin cutting its ties with ACORN, the shady “community activist” organization that helped bring Barack Obama to power.

The set-up was both risible and shocking. Mr. O’Keefe and Miss Giles, who look for all the world like young Republican country-clubbers dressed for a tasteless costume party, walked into a number of ACORN offices and managed to pass themselves off as a pimp and a prostitute. They informed ACORN staffers that they were looking to set up a whorehouse and to traffic some children into the country for the purposes of prostitution. ACORN’s official mission is to facilitate affordable housing and social services for low-income families, not to facilitate child trafficking, but the staffers responded with advice on getting on welfare, claiming their underage victims as dependents, evading law enforcement, cheating on their taxes, defrauding federal housing authorities, et cetera ad nauseam. One ACORN staffer advised Miss Giles to bury her illicit sex-trade earnings in a tin in her back yard.

Asked about housing assistance, an ACORN staffer explains: “Honesty is not going to get the house. That’s why you've probably been denied. . . . Don't say you’re a prostitute thing or whatever.” Similar sagacity followed.

Read the entire article here, and see the latest Acorn "busts" in New York and California below....

Only in Barack Hussein Hoover Pinnochio Muhammad bin Obama's America....

ACORN, after having denied the videos, suggesting that they have been heavily and unfairly edited, and suggesting that the videos revealed "a few bad apples" (never telling us where they kept the good apples), has now announced that, consequent to the admittedly "indefensible" actions of these ACORN employees, serious reforms of their organization will follow.

However, until they get a chance to engage in some damage control, ACORN states that it is stopping taking "new intakes" (i.e., clients who might be fronting with a camera to figure out what additional illegalities might be going on inside).

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

American Racism

Jimmy Carter, who has seldom managed to be right about anything in his life, continued along his well-marked rut recently when he alleged that the stringent opposition to Barack Hussein Hoover Pinnochio Muhammad bin Obama's policies were, in fact, mere masks for racism.

Carter, once again playing well the role of empty-headed guru (a role he has mastered by long and patient practice), stated

"I think it's based on racism," Carter said in response to an audience question at a town hall held at his presidential center in Atlanta. "There is an inherent feeling among many in this country that an African-American should not be president."

However, the truth of the matter is much more wisely, succinctly, and profoundly revealed below:

It just goes to prove (once again). When you suddenly realize that you can no longer defend an indefensible position (or a series of indefensible positions), just play the race card.

However, one can legitimately ask: When people who cannot defend their own positions consistently resort to classifying opposition to their positions as "white racism," who are the genuine racists?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Fascist Cop: "This Ain't America No More."

No real comment needed. Just note that the sign in question is an anti-Obama sign....

Obama Administration Agrees with AP and Joe Wilson: Obama Lies!

Our dear friend, Joe Wilson, who has suddenly discovered the validity of the Biblical truth that "a prophet is not without honor, save in his own country," is, though mocked as some kind of uncivil beast, nevertheless having the truth of his prophetic message ("Obama, Thou Doth Verily Lie!") borne out by numerous sources.

It was the very next day when the Associated Press offered its critique of Wilson's prophetic message - in technical newspaper jargon, the AP essentially said, "Yep, Obama lies."

But on Friday night, while everyone was asleep, partying, or traveling to Washington, D.C. to participate in Glenn Beck's suggested protest against Obamalotry, the White House itself released a statement that essentially admitted that Joe Wilson wasn't lying when he called Barack Hussein Hoover Pinnochio Muhammad bin Obama on the carpet. Yes, even the White House is saying Obama lied!

The particular lie which elicited such righteous indignation from Wilson (only God Himself knows how Wilson restrained himself for so long, as Obama's lying was pervasive through the entire speech on Wednesday night, but God, I understand, inspires His prophets with messages peculiarly suited for a particular occasion) was a statement wondrous in its lawyerly precision (reminiscent of another lying Democratic lawyer who speculated as to the meaning of the ancient term "is") as Obama attempted to persuade his audience that illegal immigrants would not receive benefits under extant plans for health care reform.

His particular statement was: "The reforms I'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally." Now, in the fine tradition of "I did not have sex with that woman..." this statement demands a little parsing.

Lying liars and the lies they lie.

First, "the reforms I'm proposing." Well, until Wednesday, Obama himself hadn't exactly been proposing any reforms. A two-and-a-half page summary of his goals appeared on the White House website only this week stating in broad generalities what Obama would like socialized health care to become. So essentially, as of the statement which drew Wilson's unique critique (and ire), Obama's "proposed reforms" were something of a matter discernible only by occult means, since they were hidden deep within the recesses of the empty head, heart, and suit of Barack Hussein Hoover Pinnochio Muhammad bin Obama.

But perhaps most disturbing (false) allegation in the statement above is that whatever form the health care "proposal" takes, it will not "apply to those who are here illegally." Apply? Now, apply is an exceedingly broad term, is it not?

Obama supporters, not known for their reasoning ability in the first place, pick out isolated instances of various extant bills which appear to forbid the extension of benefits to illegal immigrants and vacuously maintain - "See? Obama didn't lie! Benefits are prohibited to illegals!" One must remember, however, that these people are intellectually challenged from the get-go, inasmuch as they admit that they actually voted for Obama.

But no extant bill makes any provision for the discovery of whether one is an illegal immigrant or not. So the prohibition essentially amounts to a traffic stop at which a license check is taking place without requiring the examination of any licenses. How can one prohibit driving without a valid license when one refuses to examine licenses? And how can one prohibit the extension of benefits to illegal aliens when one refuses to check on one's citizenship status?

Alas, the White House has now taken the side of Conservatives, Libertarians, Tea Party attendees, Glenn Beck, the Associated Press, and even Joe Wilson in admitting that...

as a practical matter, there is no way of verifying the citizenship of applicants -- which is the current state of play. Republicans say that then means illegal immigrants would end up being enrolled in plans -- bill language or no bill language.

And the Administration is proposing changes to existing proposals that would prevent illegal immigrants from buying private insurance on the proposed health-care exchange, but also admitting that...

hospitals would be compensated with public funds for the care of undocumented immigrants.

And the administration recommends introducing verification requirements to insure that illegal immigrants do not participate in transactions within the proposed health-care exchange.

It is indeed a strange and sad day when a president is identified as such an inveterate liar that even his own administration is forced to stand against the information in his speeches. What is perhaps even sadder, however, is the lying liars who elected, and continue to defend him.

Friday, September 11, 2009

More on ACORN

Our inveterate faux hooker and pimp, already so successful at the ACORN office in Baltimore, now try to obtain mortgage and tax assistance for opening a brothel (complete with underage girls shipped in from El Salvador) in Washington D.C.

Our Baltimore ACORN workers had, if you remember, assured our faux hooker and pimp that what they were doing was no different than for any other ACORN office in the country - looks like she told the truth!

ACORN, of course, is one of the "community organizations" that Obama promised, in 2007, to consult upon his inauguration. They are the organization that was responsible for millions of new voter registrations in 2008, leading to the election of Barack Obama. And the Obama administration has indicated that ACORN might be used to help take next census.

How is that whole hopey-changey thingy workin' out for ya'll?

Moral Courage and National Security

On 9/11 it is impossible to not stop and meditate on the images, both terrifying and heartrending, of people who woke up on a morning just like any other, trundled off to work convinced that their most crucial decision that day would be to either buy or sell, or perhaps where to have lunch, and wound up having to decide whether to die in flames or jump out of a window, or to decide whether to risk one's own life while rushing up a set of stairs in a blind hope of saving someone else, or to decide whether, and how, to rush the terrorists attempting to run an airplane into a target unknown.

John O'Sullivan recently wrote in National Review:

There are such creatures as heroes of prudence. In general, the prudential hero is someone in a position of power or authority. His courage consists of making the right decisions in difficult circumstances and sometimes against fierce opposition or in contrast to his interests and alliances. This is known as moral courage, and though it ought to be easier to summon up than physical courage, it has often been in very short supply. As Charles Peguy once said, "It will never be known what acts of cowardice have been motivated by the fear of looking insufficiently progressive."

Statists, socialists, progressives, liberals, or Democrats - whatever moniker you affix to them, they are all, in fact, the same (and add fascist to the list), are certainly not people of moral courage. In an eternal quest to expand power, they find the vulnerable underside of the opinion of the uneducated masses and simply appeal to it, telling them, as it may suit their purpose, that "all will be just fine if you trust me" or "things are really going to explode unless you trust me." Appealing to the irrational fears of the intellectual cripples that constitute their constituency, the statist alternately stokes those irrational fears or soothes them with a Marxist tonic guaranteed only to irritate the problem and lead to governmental expansion, once again, in the indefinite future.

Whether the statist is a feminist, pacifist, or communist (or some other -ist) - ultimately he cares nothing about truth or his own constituency. The feminist destroys women by convincing them that they are enslaved to their husbands, convinces her to destroy her own family, and then weds her in eternal slavery to a new husband: a Fascist government. The Communist, of course, tells us of a new world coming in which social distinctions caused by wealth will be erased, but fails to tell us that his juvenile understanding of economics cannot ensure widespread wealth, but rather that all will be equalized in poverty.

Nowhere is the populist snake oil salesman more dangerous than in the field of foreign policy, however. The pacifist convinces the cowards among us that hate-filled, violent demagogues motivated by warlike ideologies can be convinced, through "dialogue," to make peace with all nations. Outrageously encouraging his cowardly constituents to trust such warmongers as Hitler and a succession of Soviet leaders or to reason with such lunatics as Kim Jong Il or Sadaam Hussein, he defunds the military, promises to use the "peace dividend" to ensure a chicken in every pot, tells us that warlike actions are best handled in the criminal courts, and leaves those with even moderate levels of understanding to await the next Pearl Harbor or 9/11.

Barack Obama is a fool. Everyone in his administration is a fool. All of his supporters are fools. Nothing is more certain than that Barack Obama is in over his head. He promises that, if only we give him his desires, unemployment will not exceed 8%. It is currently tracking 10%, unless you believe those who assert that it is in excess of 20%. His court jester, Joe Biden, comes along with a heavily-salted crow and slightly grimaces before swallowing it whole and, beaming, telling us, "Oops! We guessed wrong!"

Guessed? The most powerful economy in the world and the grandest political experiment in human history is now at the mercy of those whose solution to solving massive, life-changing problems is to flip a coin? Dear foolish Obama supporter, if these paragons of buffoonery can muster no better solutions than a healthy guess about the issues that you, their supporters, actually care about - the economy - what makes you think that they have a better response planned for the issue that you ignored when you voted for him? You remember? National security?

This same team of empty suits will warble on about a "national day of service" today - giving the impression that all is well. It is fine to come out of your bunker now. There is no threat. After all, why would our primary focus be encouraging the marginal development of volunteerism if, in fact, there was still the danger of vicious attack by Islamofascists?

Barack Obama is an empty suit, an illusion (if a striking one) from beginning to end. Like all successful Democratic politicians, he is more effective running for office - a position that merely requires the painting of a picture, not the skill to actually fix a problem - than he is in actually governing. This is because the modern Democratic party is completely divorced from reality. The neurosis that causes Democrats to be able to paint such pretty castles in the air also impedes them from actually picking up necessary tools and using workable blueprints to build something stable on the ground. Their political philosophy has devolved from the various mental illnesses contrived during the 60s in America: either they are engaged in the eternal wishing of juveniles who are first beginning to notice the world around them and hope for a change in its imperfections, but who correspondingly lack the worldly wisdom to think concretely enough to actually solve the problems, or their minds really were blown by all those drugs and, in addition to seeing pink elephants walking on the wall, they really do think that disarming the nation is a certain way to attain peace and that crazed Islamofascists who have nothing to gain on earth and nothing to lose in Paradise can be convinced through simpering, pedantic "dialogue" to lay down their arms and be nice boys.

I was no fan of George W. Bush. As a domestic president, he was far too comfortable with the expansion of governmental power for someone whose libertarian stripe runs as deeply and as widely as mine. But every 9/11, I thank my blessed Lord that George W. Bush was the president when the United States of America came under attack by the politico-religious philosophy of Islamofascism. For all of his weaknesses in the domestic arena, his presence as the leader of this country was an act of divine mercy not to be overlooked. He was a man - something very much lacking in the Obama administration, the Democratic party, and the nation today. He was a man of moral courage, whose compass pointed constantly toward that great north star of preventing further attacks against innocent people on American soil. And because he was willing to refuse to compromise with the neurotic left, the United States has stayed safe, and avoided attacks on our own soil, for eight years.

Because Barack Obama is in over his head and is a coward, the same will not remain true through the entirety of his administration. Because Barack Obama is a fool, the United States is no longer safe. Because Barack Obama's administration has replaced the wise decision with the haphazard guess, Americans are in danger of terrorism on their own soil once again.

To all those who died on 9/11, 2001, I apologize on behalf of this country that your blood will not be the last, because so many of your countrymen are fools.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

ACORN on Tax Evasion, Prostitution, Pimping, and Running for Congress (All Undoubtedly Related)

Well, at least the ACORN employee shows some insight when she says "anything the government ain't getting money from is illegal."

See the videos as ACORN employees, funded with taxpayer money and supported by Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama, encourage tax evasion, prostitution, child sex slavery, and even telling a self-proclaimed prostitute who claims to make $8,000 per month that, with expenses written off, she shouldn't have to pay any self-employment tax! One ACORN worker is so helpful as to advise the supposed pimp on how to instruct the underage Salvadoran children being imported for prostitution purposes on how to teach them to behave so as to avoid detection by the cops.

Most importantly, of course, is that the pimp remember to keep the child sex slaves in school! Way to show that civic-mindedness, ACORN! We wouldn't want our child sex slaves growing up illiterate, would we (else they might become supporters of Barack Obama!)? And lest our faux hooker become too uncomfortable with all of this intrigue and lying (after all, folks have been known to go to jail for this kinda stuff!), our imperious ACORN worker leans forward in a sympathetic manner and says, "Don't worry -you're fine." Now that's what the world needs more of - compassionate, sympathetic co-conspirators!

Perhaps the height of insanity is when the counselor encourages the pimp to claim a child tax credit for each of the 13 Salvadoran underage girls who will be held as sex slaves. But then, not to be outdone, these "community organizers" offer to give a 67% discount on tax preparation for the pimp! Good folks, these. I am gonna let them do my taxes.

Only in Barack's America....

Your tax money at work. Barack Obama's friends in their element.

How's that whole hopey-changey thingy workin' for ya'll these days?

AP Joins Congressman Joe Wilson: "Obama, You Lie!"

The truth is so out of fashion in America these days (and how else could such moral ruffians as Bill Clinton and Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama have been elected?) that I awaken this morning to speculation that that unctuous paragon of righteousness, Nancy Pelosi, might be considering censure for hero Congressman Joe Wilson's introduction of facts into the health care debate with his attempt to inform America of what most of us already know: Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama is a raging liar.

One wonders if Pelosi, et al., will attempt to similarly censure/censor the Associated Press, who asserts that Obama was lying on five of seven major assertions made about health care last night?


OBAMA: "I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits either now or in the future. Period."

THE FACTS: Though there's no final plan yet, the White House and congressional Democrats already have shown they're ready to skirt the no-new-deficits pledge.

House Democrats offered a bill that the Congressional Budget Office said would add $220 billion to the deficit over 10 years. But Democrats and Obama administration officials claimed the bill actually was deficit-neutral. They said they simply didn't have to count $245 billion of it — the cost of adjusting Medicare reimbursement rates so physicians don't face big annual pay cuts.

Their reasoning was that they already had decided to exempt this "doc fix" from congressional rules that require new programs to be paid for. In other words, it doesn't have to be paid for because they decided it doesn't have to be paid for.

The administration also said that since Obama already had included the doctor payment in his 10-year budget proposal, it didn't have to be counted again.

That aside, the long-term prognosis for costs of the health care legislation has not been good.

CBO Director Douglas Elmendorf had this to say in July: "We do not see the sort of fundamental changes that would be necessary to reduce the trajectory of federal health spending by a significant amount."


OBAMA: "Nothing in this plan will require you or your employer to change the coverage or the doctor you have."

THE FACTS: That's correct, as far as it goes. But neither can the plan guarantee that people can keep their current coverage. Employers sponsor coverage for most families, and they'd be free to change their health plans in ways that workers may not like, or drop insurance altogether. The Congressional Budget Office analyzed the health care bill written by House Democrats and said that by 2016 some 3 million people who now have employer-based care would lose it because their employers would decide to stop offering it.

In the past Obama repeatedly said, "If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan, period." Now he's stopping short of that unconditional guarantee by saying nothing in the plan "requires" any change.

We'll call this a half-lie, since the AP gives Nobama a pass here. But note that even the AP asserts that the nature of Obama's guarantee has changed - whereas before his statement was "You will be able to keep your current coverage," his new statement is a somewhat middling "I won't require your coverage to change." The lie, then, is in his original guarantee, even if modified for last night's speech.


OBAMA: "The reforms I'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally." One congressman, South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson, shouted "You lie!" from his seat in the House chamber when Obama made this assertion. Wilson later apologized.

THE FACTS: The facts back up Obama. The House version of the health care bill explicitly prohibits spending any federal money to help illegal immigrants get health care coverage. Illegal immigrants could buy private health insurance, as many do now, but wouldn't get tax subsidies to help them. Still, Republicans say there are not sufficient citizenship verification requirements to ensure illegal immigrants are excluded from benefits they are not due.

Though the AP claims "the facts back up Obama," their left hand taketh away what their right hand giveth in the final sentence of their evaluation. Much like the lie above ("You can keep your current health care"), when you promise that your legislation will/will not do A, but your actual legislation has no provision to enact/prevent A, then one is credibly lying in the utterance of one's promise.

Though Obama does the politically expedient thing in promising that citizens will not be taxed for health coverage for illegals, in fact, the legislation makes no verification provision for ensuring that illegals do not get such coverage. Where there is no plan to prevent A, we can infer that the actual results will be that A will take place.

If "the facts back up Obama" on this one, then "the facts don't NOT back up Joe Wilson on this one either." The practical effect will be that Obama is lying under current plans, since a failure to prevent illegals from signing up for coverage will result in illegals signing up for coverage, regardless of the angelic intent of The Messiah.


OBAMA: "Don't pay attention to those scary stories about how your benefits will be cut. ... That will never happen on my watch. I will protect Medicare."

THE FACTS: ...Although wasteful spending in Medicare is widely acknowledged, many experts believe some seniors almost certainly would see reduced benefits from the cuts. That's particularly true for the 25 percent of Medicare users covered through Medicare Advantage....


OBAMA: Requiring insurance companies to cover preventive care like mammograms and colonoscopies "makes sense, it saves money, and it saves lives."

THE FACTS: Studies have shown that much preventive care — particularly tests like the ones Obama mentions — actually costs money instead of saving it. That's because detecting acute diseases like breast cancer in their early stages involves testing many people who would never end up developing the disease. The costs of a large number of tests, even if they're relatively cheap, will outweigh the costs of caring for the minority of people who would have ended up getting sick without the testing.

The Congressional Budget Office wrote in August: "The evidence suggests that for most preventive services, expanded utilization leads to higher, not lower, medical spending overall."

That doesn't mean preventive care doesn't make sense or save lives. It just doesn't save money.

Arguably, then, when both the Obama statements and AP evaluations are looked at carefully, Obama lied on a minimum of five policy statements in his speech last night.

And that's to say nothing of the fact that he also didn't quite tell the truth in other ways. For instance, the AP notes that Obama promised that people who left a job would be "able" to get health coverage under his plan, when in fact his plan mandates that they get coverage. This, AP notes, after he harshly "criticized his Democratic primary rival, Hillary Rodham Clinton, for proposing to mandate coverage."

And the continually-morphing figure of exactly how big the problem of the chronically uninsured, socialist compassion (!) for which is, of course, the reason for the debate (or maybe it is fascist power hunger, but who am I to criticize?), has now, by Barack "The Mathematical Messiah" Obama's own profession morphed once again, from the 46 million that AP says Obama has referred to "time and again" to a mere 30 million.

But what is 1/3 of the total number among friends? After all, we are only talking a few million here! Are you sure you want these algebraic frauds "controlling health care costs?"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Obama Prepares for Crucial Health Care Speech

Photo of Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama rehearsing before speaking to a
joint session of Congress on September 9, 2009.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama spent the majority of Tuesday and Wednesday this week preparing for his 28th scheduled speech on the issue of health care, to be broadcast Wednesday night, September 9, to a joint session of Congress.

The last time that a president addressed a joint session of Congress was consequent to the September 11 attacks on September 20, 2001.

While billed as a way to seize momentum as Congress returns to work after their summer hiatus (during which the stock market rocketed higher), officials at the major networks, scrambling to accommodate The Messiah's fifth major prime-time address in less than eight months as president, are suggesting that Obama simply accede to production of his own reality show. Insiders suggest that initial plans for "The Obamas" will be modeled on one of the original reality shows, "The Osbournes," which gave an insider's view of the home life of heavy metal artist and bat gourmand Ozzy Osbourne.

"We think that there will be a lot of similarities, which works for us," said an unnamed source at ABC, which recently ran a pre-recorded special plugging Obama's health-care socialization scheme. "For instance, it is well-known that Ozzy did a lot of drugs - so there's that angle. I mean, the health care angle... uhhhh, that similarity with Barack. And then of course, we expect there to be family dynamics issues, the whole 'strong woman really runs the house' theme, and the whole angle of there being a lot of indecipherable communication. Yeah, a lot of pointless rambling and people scratching their heads and asking, 'What the devil is he talking about?' - more than MTV had with Ozzy Osbourne."

Earlier in the day, Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama had devoted several hours to speech preparation.

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs noted, "The President has been focusing more on the greater principles than the minutia of what he intends to say. He will really be prepared tonight. This may be the most crucial speech of his presidency thus far - or at least in the top 24." When asked to expand on the "great principles" Obama has been reviewing, Gibbs replied, "Well, I saw him skimming Oratory for Dummies."

White House officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, also reported that assorted teleprompters were being prepared for the address.

"We are aiming for a certain level of redundancy, just in case we have a teleprompter faint, as has happened numerous times. We'll have another teleprompter step right in and take over."

On background, officials have admitted that Obama's endless droning on about nothing is causing even his teleprompters to nod off in mid-speech. Those same officials promise that measures are being taken to ensure that tonight's speech contains, as one administration official put it, "more twists than that oh-so curvy, luscious, Sarah Palin. Wait - that tape recorder isn't ON is it? Van Jones? NO COMMENT!"

Though this will be a special "joint" session, Larry Sinclair is not expected to attend.