Obama Prepares for Crucial Health Care Speech

Photo of Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama rehearsing before speaking to a
joint session of Congress on September 9, 2009.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama spent the majority of Tuesday and Wednesday this week preparing for his 28th scheduled speech on the issue of health care, to be broadcast Wednesday night, September 9, to a joint session of Congress.

The last time that a president addressed a joint session of Congress was consequent to the September 11 attacks on September 20, 2001.

While billed as a way to seize momentum as Congress returns to work after their summer hiatus (during which the stock market rocketed higher), officials at the major networks, scrambling to accommodate The Messiah's fifth major prime-time address in less than eight months as president, are suggesting that Obama simply accede to production of his own reality show. Insiders suggest that initial plans for "The Obamas" will be modeled on one of the original reality shows, "The Osbournes," which gave an insider's view of the home life of heavy metal artist and bat gourmand Ozzy Osbourne.

"We think that there will be a lot of similarities, which works for us," said an unnamed source at ABC, which recently ran a pre-recorded special plugging Obama's health-care socialization scheme. "For instance, it is well-known that Ozzy did a lot of drugs - so there's that angle. I mean, the health care angle... uhhhh, that similarity with Barack. And then of course, we expect there to be family dynamics issues, the whole 'strong woman really runs the house' theme, and the whole angle of there being a lot of indecipherable communication. Yeah, a lot of pointless rambling and people scratching their heads and asking, 'What the devil is he talking about?' - more than MTV had with Ozzy Osbourne."

Earlier in the day, Barack Hussein Hoover Muhammad bin Obama had devoted several hours to speech preparation.

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs noted, "The President has been focusing more on the greater principles than the minutia of what he intends to say. He will really be prepared tonight. This may be the most crucial speech of his presidency thus far - or at least in the top 24." When asked to expand on the "great principles" Obama has been reviewing, Gibbs replied, "Well, I saw him skimming Oratory for Dummies."

White House officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, also reported that assorted teleprompters were being prepared for the address.

"We are aiming for a certain level of redundancy, just in case we have a teleprompter faint, as has happened numerous times. We'll have another teleprompter step right in and take over."

On background, officials have admitted that Obama's endless droning on about nothing is causing even his teleprompters to nod off in mid-speech. Those same officials promise that measures are being taken to ensure that tonight's speech contains, as one administration official put it, "more twists than that oh-so curvy, luscious, Sarah Palin. Wait - that tape recorder isn't ON is it? Van Jones? NO COMMENT!"

Though this will be a special "joint" session, Larry Sinclair is not expected to attend.

Barack Obama: Teleprompter Whore

The Messiah was elected to office, not based on any of his accomplishments, but based on the fact that he is "hip," and "the greatest orator of our time."

Ahhhhh, but now the truth is out. Barack Hussein Muhammad bin Obama is actually a much better READER than a SPEAKER.

His addiction to teleprompters, and his consequent revelation that he is not a man whose words emerge from an inner, burning conviction, but rather a man whose words are inserted into him by his handlers, continues.

Yesterday, before the National Academy of Sciences, Obama started to reintroduce some luminary that he had already introduced, then realized he was ahead of his teleprompter, and had to request that the teleprompter be fast forwarded a bit....

"In addition to John.... sorry... the, uhhhhhhh, I just noticed that I jumped the gun a little bit. Go ahead and move it [the teleprompter] up. I had already introduced you guys."





This, of course, is not the first time that this has happened to The Messiah. It seems that his innate knowledge of politics doesn't extend very far beyond, "See Jane run."



And without a teleprompter to begin with, the man is positively an embarrassment.




Gaffe, thy name is Obama - with or without his trusty teleprompter.

More on Bo - The Honest Obama

It is beyond doubt that we often learn the most about people in contexts in which they do not intend for us to be instructed. We learn more about the true character of a man, in other words, when he is not aware we are watching his character, than we learn when he has a chance to play the part of the person he wants us to see him as.

As I have watched and re-watched the video of Bo Obama's press conference [insert both (!) and (???) here], a couple of matters strike me about The Dear Leader.

First, Billy Bob Barry Barack Hussein Muhammad bin Obama is likely the most radically sanctimonious individual in human history, except for each and every one of his Democratic supporters.

Q: Whose responsibility is it to walk [the dog]?
A: It is all of our responsibility. We take turns walking the dog.

Yes, of course.

A group of important-looking men with expensive briefcases sit at a round table, with Billy Bob Barry Barack Hussein Muhammad bin Obama the obvious center of their attention. Exhaling strongly - partly from frustration and partly from fear - a nattily-dressed 60-year old soldier with stars on his shoulder rises and intones in a weary voice, "Mr. President, we have pirates in the Indian ocean, a Taliban counteroffensive in Afghanistan, North Korea is pointing a nuclear missle at the West Coast, and French radicals have overrun the Iraqi government."

Nervously glancing at his watch, The Dear Leader apologetically offers, "Sorry guys. I gotta step out for a few, it is time for Bo's 10:15 a.m. constitutional."

But for sheer self-righteousness, nothing beats the the faux earnestness with which Obama pronounces, as if he has just returned from Mt. Sinai, "We want to make sure that we are responsible dog owners, and we hope everyone else is too." And note the tone with which this is said. Pure Reverend Wright.

As if he had just received a new revelation from Jehovah. Or Allah. Or whomever. Way to take a controversial moral stand, Mr. President.

The second matter that I found informative in this video is the whole "tomato section." In this section (beginning at about the 3:00 mark on the below-posted video), Obama notes that Portuguese Water Dogs reportedly have a fondness for the tomato, which apparently places Michelle Obama's garden in imminent danger.

To which Michelle somewhat testily replies, "I don't think we have any tomatoes planted."

Note that, even among the highest strata of those with liberal ambitions, the pretenses of feminism are quickly shed when the actual function of family is involved. The female, no matter how "strong," "independent," and sold on the various feminist (false) dogmas, is simply desiccated and domesticated, relegated to playing second fiddle to the glorious alpha male, who is ultimately the center of the world's attention and who is far too busy with "real work" and is, after all, too important to be expected to keep up with the day-to-day goings-on at home.

All that is, of course, "women's work."

So a century of feminist agitation has changed... nothing.