Financial Fun!

1) The initial PROPOSED tab for the governmental bailout of the economy, estimated at $4.6165 trillion (don't you love the four-decimal point specificity? rumor has it that the point-one-six-five trillion was to account for low-income Netflix and lunch money programs....), was a higher total than the total cost of the New Deal, the Louisiana Purchase, the Marshall Plan, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the War in Iraq, the Savings and Loan Crisis, and every NASA project in history - including research.

2) The eventual ACTUAL tab (actual meaning "the frivolous figure passed in Congressional bills which will be endlessly quoted in soundbytes," which is not to be confused with the ACTUAL ACTUAL tab, meaning "the actual amount of money spent, discoverable only after various programs for low-income Netflix financing and teapot museum-construction have been renewed innumerable times, which will likely approach $20 trillion, but that is another story for another day) for the economic bailout, estimated at $7.76 trillion, is a higher total than the total cost of the New Deal, the Louisiana Purchase, the Marshall Plan, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the War in Iraq, the Savings and Loan Crisis and every NASA project in history - including research, PLUS the entire cost of the Second World War AND the cost of dry-cleaning Monica Lewinksy's dresses.

3) Susan Collins (RINO - Maine) insisted that the stimulus bill be pared back from $838 billion dollars to a mere $780+ billion. Why? To ensure that Congress and the President were behaving in a "financially responsible" manner. Uh-huh. Shaving off that extra $50 billion sure did help, chickie! I mean, $780 billion is a lot, but $838 billion is SERIOUS money!

4) The Bailout Bill, which was supposed to rescue the homeowners of America, had it merely been applied to mortgages rather than new governmental programs, would have paid off IN THEIR ENTIRETY more than 90% of all outstanding American residential mortgages (http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=washingtonstory&sid=aGq2B3XeGKok ).

5) The Bailout Bill, which was supposed to rescue the homeowners of America, was followed up by TODAY's announcement by Barack Hussein Muhammad bin Obama that we have a NEW $275 billion (as of today) plan to rescue America's homeowners (no, wait, we are serious this time. really. no joking. stop laughing. i'm serious.).